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Let’s be real. The type of relationship that you share with your first college roommate is complicated. Often, your roommate is one of the first people that you meet when you go to college. It’s your home away from home, and now you have to give up half of your privacy to this person you’ve just met. 

Going into a new environment, not knowing a lot of people, is tough. So, it's important to be prepared for all possibilities and scenarios that could arise. Let’s get right into it!

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Be open about expectations

One of the ways many roommate relationships get off to a rough start is because either you or your roommate are not used to sharing space with someone else. Or, each roommate has different expectations when it comes to respecting each other's personal and communal space.

To avoid any miscommunications, the best way to proceed is to work together from the start to establish a mutual agreement on boundaries. The earlier this conversation takes place, the better the result.

It’s also important to compromise and make decisions that help each other. For example: sleep. 

Some people like to sleep late at night and others like to sleep earlier. It’s essential to have an agreement on these issues, and to make sure neither of you breach this agreement.

Here’s some ideas of topics to discuss with your roommate:

• Are you open to hosting people?
• Do you have any dietary restrictions?
• What is your class schedule like?
• What time should we shut the lights off?
• Do you like to shower in the morning or at night?
• Do you like the room warm or cool at night?

Asking and finding common ground with questions like the ones above will benefit both parties. It’s all about trust, respect, and accountability.

Talk Before You Meet

If possible, you should try to talk to your roommate before you arrive. Now, this doesn’t mean that you need to become best pals before stepping foot on campus. But, just knowing where your roommate is from, what she or he is interested in doing, and other broad ideas can be helpful in preparing you guys to meet in-person.

Another example is talking to your roommate about what they are packing, so you do not overlap with some things you may only need one of. Ask what your roommate is bringing and discuss if sharing certain items is okay. For example, if you are bringing a microwave, rather than having two microwaves, maybe your roommate can bring a tv or something else instead. This can also help to optimize the tight space in your room!

Be Open to New Ideas

Many times, roommates come from completely different backgrounds. This can be both fun and awkward at first as the two of you see your stark differences.

For example, your roommate may dress in a style you have never seen before or eat different foods that you never eat. Or maybe your roommate has different hobbies. Whichever the difference, it’s imperative to keep an open mind during this process. Part of college is learning how to communicate with and get along with people who are far different from you and your upbringing.

Face your problems

It’s bound to happen, that you and your roommate will have a conflict or dispute. When it happens, don’t worry, it’s completely normal for humans to disagree. Hopefully, your conflict is small, but it can also be a big issue. Whatever the conflict is, addressing the issue head-on is better than not addressing it at all. And the longer the issue lingers without confrontation, the worse it can become.

On that note, it is important to address the issue when you are both calm and collected. Once that is the case, you should speak to your roommate clearly and respectfully. It is important to understand both of your perspectives and try to think of a compromise that satisfies both parties. It is also important to admit any faults. At the end of the day, both you and your roommate are sharing a home. If you want your home to be a place of comfort, issues have to be discussed. 

Respect your roommate

The most important aspect of getting along with your college roommate is to have a mutual respect for one another. After all, you both will probably spend a lot of time together. It is important to keep respect among each other and to be extra cautious and aware of situations that might bother your roommate. 

Final Thoughts

Your first college roommate plays a critical role in you having a great college experience. A solid relationship with each other can go a long way. Always having someone you can lean on and trust is important, especially in this new environment. If issues ever arise, just remember: trust, respect, and accountability. If both parties can maintain these three traits, the seas should be smooth sailing ahead.