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Having a roommate is an important part of college life, and one that you want to go well. A roommate will be sharing a space with you 24/7 for at least a school year, which makes the choice a very important one. You want to live with someone you can get along with who has a compatible living style with you. Sharing a space can be a large source of conflict if you aren’t compatible with your roommate. It can bring a lot of unneeded stress into your life to have conflict with the person you live with. It will make for a less than ideal living space.

On the other hand, a good roommate can become a great friend who makes your space a fun one to be in. Many people first make friends with their roommates when they move to a new space. Getting along with your roommate will lead you to live in an enjoyable space with someone you can easily communicate with. You can have a good time together both in and outside of the dorm if you choose to, and you can even share items like clothing and food.

Having good communication with your roommate is important for several reasons. Conflicts can sometimes arise when two or more people live together even if they get along relatively well.

You need to have a roommate that has the ability to resolve conflicts. You don’t want a roommate that you get along with until there is a conflict. You want someone you can sit down and have a rational conversation with when the situation arises. To end up with the right roommate, there are a certain set of questions you will need to ask. If you are unsure of what those questions are, read on for some suggestions!

Why Should You Ask A Potential Roommate Questions?

This is an important first step to take to ensure your space is livable.

When two or more people live together for the first time, they will end up experiencing surprises along the way. One roommate could be neat while the other one is messy, one could be an early riser and the other a night owl, or one roommate could be incredibly talkative while the other one is really quiet. Many previously unknown quirks will come out after some time of living together that can make or break roommates’ relationships with each other, and it is important to try to bypass that issue as much as possible. While you can’t avoid every single problem that could potentially crop up, getting important questions out of the way will help you start off in the best place possible.

Questions You Should Ask

There are a few really important questions to bring up.

Where are you from?

Finding out where a potential roommate is from can help you understand if you share a similar experience. You can find out if they come from far away or close by, which can clue you in to some of their possible habits. Can they or will they go home during the weekends, or might they be staying for some holidays because travel might be complicated for them? If you find out you’re from a similar place, you can relate on that level and maybe even travel home together. You can even make plans to celebrate certain holidays together if both of you will be unable to make it home.

Are you a morning or a night person?

This question is important because sleeping habits can be a big deal between roommates. If someone is an early riser, it may not be a big deal that your roommate is sleeping when you’re awake, but it can be a problem if your roommate is always up whenever you want to sleep. But that does depend on your housing situation and how they go about spending their time in the room at night. If you share a single room, vastly different sleeping habits can be an issue. If you live in an apartment with separate bedrooms, it may not be as much of an issue, but that will depend on other factors, like if your roommate sits around silently while they’re up at night, or if they like to have friends over or blast loud music. Any early risers can also benefit from having a simple coffee maker on site.

Do you need any light or sound to sleep?

Everyone has different sleeping habits and different things help or hinder different people from sleeping. If you sleep in darkness and silence, you might think of that as the norm, but it's best not to assume. There are many people who can’t comfortably sleep when it is completely dark and silent. Some people need a night light to sleep because they aren’t comfortable in the dark, and some people need music or television to sleep because they can’t relax when it’s completely silent. It is important for you and your roommate to be on the same page with these sleeping habits. Something else that can make both your nights better is the right set of comfortable sheets.

How messy or neat are you?

Cleanliness can become a huge issue between roommates since different individuals have such different standards for neatness. Some people are comfortable with mess while others are only comfortable when a space is as neat as possible. You might feel fine with one part of a room being messy and the other side being neat, or you might not be. Whether you’re neat or messy, having a roommate that operates the opposite way can make you feel disdain towards them. Maybe you think of your roommate as controlling because they want to keep the place neat, or you see them as disgusting because you aren’t used to living in the kind of mess they’re fine with. Whatever your cleaning style, it could be necessary to establish rules or chores when it comes to shared spaces like the bathroom and the kitchen.

What are you open to sharing?

Sharing is an important subject when you’re sharing a living space with someone. Some people are more willing to share their things than others are, and there are some things that make sense to share when you’re living with someone. You don’t want to assume what will be shared in advance because that could cause some serious conflict. You also won’t want to room with someone who isn’t okay with sharing anything even if it makes sense to share.

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OWhen sharing a small space, having two television sets, two microwaves, two coffee makers, and two of other large shareable items is not ideal. You also want to make sure that your toiletries and other personal items will be safe and not used up without permission. You can easily find furniture pieces that are shareable for you and your roommate.

How do you feel about guests?

Guests can certainly be a controversial issue if not discussed in advance. Some people like to invite friends to their house all the time and pretty much turn their space into THE hangout spot. Other people treat their space as more of an escape from other people and might only invite a few friends over on occasion. For some people, home is the place to party, and for others, they only like to party outside of the home. If you love hosting people at your place, a roommate who relates to that will probably just bring you more friends and fun. It will not be fun if your place to escape suddenly becomes a constant hangout spot.

Do you have a serious partner?

This question can determine whether or not there might be an additional person around you on a somewhat frequent occasion. Some people spend time with their partners all the time, and that can be an issue when it comes to having roommates. If your roommate prefers to spend a lot of time at their partner’s place, it may not be an issue at all, but if your roommate wants to consistently invite their partner over, it can feel intrusive. If a roommate’s partner isn’t something you mind dealing with, you can simply come up with a few rules about how often they can be over and what spaces they are allowed to frequent.

Do you have pets?

This question is irrelevant if you live on campus where pets aren’t allowed, but if you live in an apartment with no pet restrictions, this is necessary to discuss. Are you okay with having pets in your living space? And if you are, how many are you fine with? What kind of pets will you be okay with? Living with a cat is different from living with a dog, and living with a rodent or a bird is even more different. There may also need to be some rules on how the pet is taken care of if you’re fine with it, such as what spaces it is allowed in.

Do you go out a lot?

It can be good to know just how often you’ll expect to see your roommate in your shared space. Maybe you’ll enjoy having a roommate who leaves the home often, or you might prefer one who is home more often that you can potentially socialize with more often. If you are a light sleeper, having a roommate who is often in and out at all hours of the day can be an issue. Maybe how often your roommate will be home isn’t much of an issue, but it can clue you in to how they operate and live their life and how compatible that will be with your own habits.

Do you have any allergies?

This question is necessary because your roommate can have allergies that make the two of you incompatible when it comes to living together. Maybe they’re allergic to peanut butter and you eat a pb&j just about every day. This can be an issue depending on the severity of their allergy. Some people can’t even be in the same room as their allergen or it can cause very severe issues. If they are allergic to pets, and you plan to live with one, that is also a big issue. Make sure that you and your roommate can live comfortably in the same space.

While you’re home, do you prefer silence or noise?

Noise isn’t only a problem when you’re sleeping. Some people like quiet even while they’re awake and have no intentions on sleeping any time soon. If you are a huge fan of silence, you will not appreciate a roommate who likes to blast loud music at all hours of the day. If you like noise, you don’t want to end up with a roommate who will often complain about it. Make sure you are on the same page when it comes to how you hang around the home so that no one feels frustrated.

Living with a roommate can be a difficult situation if you're not prepared for it. It can be a very varied experience. You will have good times, bad times, and boring times, but it will overall be an experience you will have been happy to have. If you know some of what to expect when living with someone else, it can end up being a very rewarding experience without much strife.